This week, I had one of those days. The kind of days where your children give you that lovely eye twitch and make you scream once you get somewhere alone. Yep, Wednesday was one of those days. It started out with an overly emotional threenager running into the living room before 7am crying about “not wanting to go to bed”. She clearly forgot she slept all night and lost the previous night’s battle of wills. Then she cried because I didn’t put on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Hashtag, “story of my life”.
The hubs took her to school and the little one and I had a nice day together. She did poop four times, which always adds to a “fun” day. At preschool pick-up, the battle of the wills part 543 continued on. “Can I get a sucker from Ms. Charla?” the threenager asked. Mean mom from Hades says, “No, we’re going to get a pretzel at Sam’s Club”. Cue the dramatics and tears and flailing. Did I mention I’m holding the other one like a sack of potatoes on my hip while she screams about making her leave the threenager’s classroom? Parents and office staff alike are now sympathetically staring, so I lift my arms in a grand “ta-da” and take a glorious bow. I have given them quite the show in the three minutes of walking out of the building.
In the car, I set a timer for two minutes in which I refuse to talk to my children. Hindsight, I should have set the timer for five minutes. Then we leave and go about the errands that I must, unfortunately, get done today. These errands include a trip to Sam’s Club. Usually this is a delight, but I made my children sit in the top of the cart, where children are supposed to sit and now I am back to devil mommy. Both are screaming and crying as the terrified Sam’s greeter sadly waves. This is luckily a short stint and we are all happy and eating Cheerios as we go to order a cake for daddy’s birthday. We even get our pretzel (and mommy a Diet Dr. Pepper-PTL) at the end of the trip.
But, alas, there is one more stop. This time to Kroger. It’s not a fancy Kroger with fancy carts and since it should be a quick trip, I let the big girl walk and the little girl sits in the large part of the cart. We make it through fast and things are better than expected. Until self-checkout. Darn you self-checkout with your glamorous scanner and screen. Products are flying on the scanner and I think “attendant has been notified” went off a dozen times. The last time the little one just pressed the button for him to come over. He gave me that sad sympathetic look I seemed to have got all day and cleared my screen once again. We make it to the car, I take the little one out of the cart, crying continues and a bearded guy gives me the stink eye. I mocked him once he passed, as any good, exhausted mother would do.
Fast forward to the evening. The little one has now learned to climb the bar stool and jacked up the Apple TV. The threenager is wearing a mermaid swimsuit. I suggest playing in the bath and buy myself 30 minutes of peaceful play. At bedtime, the little one throws her toothbrush in the toilet, which had just been used and not been flushed, of course. I praised the Lord for disposable gloves and an eight o’clock bedtime. Did I mention it’s Wednesday aka single mom night as the hubs does student groups? The girls both cry as I put them to bed in a final encore to the day and I sit, with a to-do list still to finish, and laugh. You’ve just gotta laugh.
Moms, I will not judge you as you haul your screaming children out of preschool, Sam’s Club or Target. I won’t even judge them on an airplane. This motherhood gig is the hardest job in the world and yet so fulfilling. There won’t always be fights about Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, suckers or mermaid swimsuits so I’m going to sigh, laugh and enjoy them all while I can. I’m even going to be okay pulling toothbrushes out of the toilet. These moments are so fleeting, I know my girls will only be this age once, instead of getting aggravated I’m going to push through and enjoy these times as much as I can. Will you?
Thanks for letting me share,