Well, it’s been awhile. I’m embarrassed to even write that. The days and weeks got away from me and I realized I haven’t shared in a while. Actually, to be quite frank, I did realize it, but I was drowning in so many other things I didn’t get a chance to come up for air and write a blog post. You see, I’m a “semi-expert” juggler of all life’s responsibilities. I had the “blog ball” drop and couldn’t risk grabbing it while continuing to juggle the rest. I hate that. I really do. It’s in my DNA to do all the things I can at once and unsurprisingly that plan doesn’t ever work out. This past week I finally hit, what I call, “the wall”.
Friends, this “wall” is very, very real and I think I’ve taken my longest stride yet before I hit it. I went about a month overwhelming myself with ministry, relationships, party planning, event planning, cake decorating (that’s my other side gig), parenting, socializing, church attending, marriage enriching and more until this past Monday, where I found that wall and hit it hard. After a poor night’s sleep and a very long car ride, I found myself propped up against that darn wall. Yes, I was so tired, but actually a bit relieved. I needed to stop, to pause and to rest. I needed to take a break from being me.
No one makes me “be” me, but myself. Does that make sense? I am my own worst enemy. I add and add and add to my plate until it looks like I have a “I only paid for one trip to the buffet” kind of plate. I have a friend who’s just as bad as me. I keep telling her to say “no” to things, while she keeps giving me the “stink eye” for not doing the same. Our problem is that we like to fill up our plates. We like to say “yes” and be helpful and be a good friend, wife, mother, etc. Plate filling is our calling.
This past week, after I hit my “wall” the first day of my beach vacation, the rain came. Actually, Tropical Storm Cindy came and with her about ten inches of rain on the lovely beach I planned to sit on all week. Though I was disappointed to not be adding to my tan freckles, I still found the quiet, the rest I needed. I picked up a book and remembered that I actually loved to read. And it wasn’t reading for a study, a class or for any real reason at all. It helped me take that plate I loved to fill and stick it in the dishwasher for a deep clean.
Plate fillers, we have a problem and to be honest, I’m not sure how we fix it OR if we really want to fix it. But, I do know that if you don’t ever hit “your wall”, you’re going to run yourself ragged. When we do that we aren’t good spouses, good parents, good ministers or good friends. Our plates get filled and we put forth a sub par effort, instead of giving our best. All of our relationships suffer, including the most important, our relationship with Christ.
Now, I don’t have the magic answer, but I do believe the key might be to put some walls in place ahead of time, to give yourself a break every now and then…even if it pains you to tell someone “no”. To recharge our batteries we must find the quiet, pick up God’s Word and find that rest. Our plates need a break, a good wash in life’s proverbial dishwasher. So go ahead, build a wall, hit and go rest. I promise your plate will still be there, ready to fill again soon.
Thanks for letting me share,