Yesterday, I was a rock star mom. Yesterday, I was a superstar wife. Weekly meal planning…check. Took the girls to the library…check. Grocery shopping with no fights or tears…check. Bank trip…check. Chick-Fil-A run…check. Laundry…check. Cleaned the house…check. I had checked all the “mom” boxes AND on a Monday WITH two kids at home! I was on top of world, tired, but still on top of the world. I was riding that, “awesome stay at home mom” high. There were no major discipline issues, the girls helped me out around the house, knocking their chore list out, and I even let them celebrate with candy (add “fun mom” to that list).
And then we left for a meeting. This is a meeting I go to every other Monday night. They know the drill. Go to daddy’s office, sit in the back room, play with the activities we bring for an hour and then go home. This is a normal routine thing. I was even extra-nice this time and let them bring the iPads as a reward for their hard work of the day. I have rocked the day and now I get to do the ministry part of my life, which I deeply love, AND I brought cookies for the team. Go me!
But then, within the first three minutes of the meeting, child #2 has a potty accident, occurring almost immediately after I asked if she needed to go. Don’t worry, “super mom” has a change of clothes and panties, remains calm, but firm and deals with it (the iPad is now taken out of the equation, after much weeping and gnashing of teeth from said child). I go back into the meeting and I think, “I can handle this”. I take some deep breaths, the get back in your “awesome mom” groove type breathing, and focus back on the meeting.
Now thirty minutes into the meeting, getting into the actual planning part of course, child #1 appears with the whisper of “mommy come here”. This can be one of two things, the iPad is dead or broken (oh please be this one) or we have had a second potty accident. I’ll let you guess how this part ends. I grab child #1 & #2 and all supplies we’ve brought, excuse myself from the meeting and load them in the car…cue more weeping and gnashing of teeth from said children.
On the drive home I wonder, “how did I crash and burn so bad?” I walk out of a meeting in embarrassment, both the girls just killing their excellent day and now I’ve lost my “awesome mom” vibes. I’m completely frazzled and done. It’s then, that the still, small voice pops in my head, “Remember me?” The day of how “awesome-a-mom-am-I” is instead replaced with Jesus reminding me that I am as broken now as I was when I woke up that morning. That no matter what I do or how well I do it, HE has saved me and put my broken pieces together. I can’t hold myself or my life together, HE does that for me. I can’t control the two little girls that made wrong choices because they are broken as well, sinful from the start. HE is the only one that can call them to himself and repair their brokenness.
My excellent mom day, which was only really impressive to me, fell apart because I was the only one holding it together. As much as I want to be in control and the one who’s holding the reins, I have to give that control to Jesus and trust Him in that position. I wrapped my arms around the day and called it “mine” like a two year old who hates to share. But that day, like every other day, belonged to Him. I have to continually give each day over to Him and trust that He will guide my path, that He will lead me into a day that glorifies Him.
I don’t want my girls to see me as “Super Mom”. I want my girls to see the trust I have in Jesus and my own struggle with sin. I want them to see the Gospel permeating through our household and daily life. I want them to see their need for a Savior and give their lives willingly to Him. I want them to see Jesus in me.
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:4-9
